I call shens.: Archive

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Dec 31st

Magnum Photos - Merry Christmas →

Dec 30th

What I've learned...

From watching all 214 episodes of Stargate: SG-1 Beggars can’t be choosers Better late than never Look before you leap The best things in life a free Beauty is only skin deep Silence is golden Jack of all trades, Master of none. Nothing ventured…nothing gained Life’s too short. Funny, right?

Dec 29th

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What is love?

Dec 29th

Dec 28th

Speed Up the Firefox Download Process [Firefox] →

Weblog MakeUseOf highlights five lesser-known Firefox tips, including one simple tip we’ve never covered before: Instead of right-clicking on a download link, choosing “save to target” and pressing enter, just drag the download link to the “downloads icon” in the toolbar. The download will start automatically.You can actually drag download links to either the...

Dec 27th

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Bad Day at The Office

Dec 27th

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Drugs to build up that mental muscle - Los Angeles... →

Dec 26th

IRON, from Details Magazine By Henry Rollins →

http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gt1951a/iron.html

Dec 26th

Dec 25th

Chris Ramirez Photography →

Dec 25th

Dec 24th

The Definitive Top 25 Movies of 2007 →

Dec 24th

How Starbucks Saved My Life, Sunday Morning: A... →

Dec 24th

How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take in a Fight? →

Dec 24th

Dec 23rd

Dec 22nd

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Dancing traffic cop

Dec 22nd

"The Tampon Story"

Brett: Did I ever tell you the tampon story?
Me: ..no?
Brett: If I had, you would know it.
Brett: I've been saving it since 2003...
Brett: I'll just give you a quick recap.
Brett: So.
Brett: I meet this girl.
Brett: We go out to dinner.
Brett: We go back to my place.
Brett: We're fooling around.
Brett: I'm using my hand.
Brett: I feel something strange.  No, not a penis.  But inside.
Brett: So I'm like "wtf do you have something in there"?
Brett: She says "uh no."
Brett: So I'mlike uh ok
Brett: So I keep going, now curious.
Brett: It feels like a hot turd, not like skin.
Brett: It's in there pretty good too.
Brett: And it's definitely not a part of abody.
Brett: SO I ask again and she's like wtf NO
Brett: So I pinch it really hard with my fingernails to see if it's part of her body
Brett: I just realized this story is gay when you know it's called "the tampon story"
Brett: So anyway
Brett: I tried to pull this thing out, but it wouldn't budge.
Brett: Finally, I get it out
Brett: And INSTANTLY
Brett: A rush of hot gas burps out of her cunt
Brett: Thick, hot and dank and smelling worse than just about anything
Brett: Like burning shit and puke.
Brett: And it's like a cloud
Brett: So I give her the tampon and I go "so when did your period end?'
Brett: And she says "two weeks ago"
Brett: So this dumb broad left a tampon in her twat for two weeks.
Brett: So I immediastely take her to Wal-Mart to get a douche kit so she might have a hope of not having TSS
Brett: then I told her to go home and never talked to her again
Brett: Now...
Brett: Why do I bring this up to you now?
Me: please, continue
Brett: I took pics.  And then lost them.  For 4 years.  Until the other day.  I found them on a site I didn't even know I had an account with.
Brett: http://www.dotphoto.com/Go.asp?l=Brett&P=&AID=964777&T=1
Me: holy.
Me: shit.
Brett: The girl in the pic is a friend of mine from high school, NOT the tampon girl.
Me: Did you take the photo on the spot or did you save it for later?
Brett: I put it in a ziploc in the trash can and took the pics like 3 days later lol
Brett: I was going to leave it in a friend's desk at the newspaper, but didn't
Me: That’s one of the best stories I’ve ever heard.  Kudos.